Everything is just a big distraction from what you love.

If you were cool in high school
you didn't ask too many questions.
You could tell who'd been to last night's
big metal concert by the new t-shirts in the hallway.
You didn't have to ask
and that's what cool was:
the ability to deduct
to know without asking.
And the pressure to simulate coolness
means not asking when you don't know,
which is why kids grow ever more stupid.


A yearbook's endpages, filled with promises
to stay in touch, stand as proof of the uselessness
of a teenager's promise. Not like I'm dying
for a letter from the class stoner
ten years on but...

Do you remember the way the girls
would call out "love you!"
conveniently leaving out the "I"
as if they didn't want to commit
to their own declarations.

I agree that the "I" is a pretty heavy concept
and hope you won't get uncomfortable
if I should go into some deeper stuff here.

This song is best listened to at 1:30 AM in complete darkness with headphones.

I recorded a song. Just a simple vocal/guitar/harmonica folky arrangement. I've listened to it about 10 times back to back just before writing this post, wondering if I actually want someone to actually listen to it. There are parts where I feel like words are pronounced in the most stupid and weird ways (ie: "Missouri to New Yawrk"). Maybe it's just an inherent problem with songwriters, but I've always been pretty self-conscious about showing my work to others, let alone singing in public or showing someone else a recording of my own voice. That's probably why I'm putting it on this obscure little blog of mine, because I'm sure no one really reads this thing :)

I also want to get some recordings together to send to the local indie station, KDHX. I have nothing to lose. Maybe I'm so eager to do it because I know that, if i ever get any feedback, it can only be positive. Otherwise they just wouldn't respond, I guess. If I send anything in I'd need to get an album cover for everything and burn it to a disk. I have no idea what I'd do for a cover. I have some artistically inclined friends who I might ask to make something. I might try to do something with the header image of the rainbow sheep eating a mushroom.

Now, for the music:

Think of Me

Aw, heck. I'll post the link to the other song. I'm extremely happy with the instrumental arrangement, but I wanna redo the vocals. I sound so bored and flat, methinks. I shudder when I listen to this recording because of the vocals.

Steel Strings

And I'm considering calling the album "Stolen Strings." It was the original title for "Steel Strings" because I felt like I stole the acoustic guitar picking style and the slide guitar idea from Pink Floyd's "A Pillow of Winds."

Radical Face

I broke out Ghost, my newest Radical Face album again. I just need to get this off my chest: this album is the greatest audible piece of artwork since Radiohead's Kid A. I just need to put this out here.

I'm working on another song. It's very heavily inspired by Devendra Banhart's "Lover." I have no idea how it's exactly going to end up or what I'm going to call it, but I might show it to some friends and see what they think. I might be able to record the entire thing on my own in my little studio; all I need to do is borrow a tambourine and a my friend's bass. I'm always so dissatisfied with my lyrics. Everything comes out looking so amateurish to me. Sometimes I wonder if I should just leave songwriting for when I get to college and on, and just focus on developing my technique for now. It amazes me how obscure and spontaneous people like Devendra Banhart can be with their lyrics while keeping such a perfect flow.

I've been a-waiting here

For another day or year

For when I won't need to say

That I know who I am, and that's ok

And I know that I don't cost too much

And with everything I see I think I think too much

I think I think I think and then It's always the same

Another day is lost, and that's ok

Hold on, and show yourself

I want to see you smile and nothing else

There's no question. I am going to get this bass soon. It seems absolutely perfect. Danelectros have always looked so odd and awesome to me:

Danelectro Dead on 58 Longhorn Bass

One of these days, these days will end

I would love to find someone else who can appreciate this song. Everything about it; the vocals, the chords, the lyrics...it's all perfect to me. I was reading about the singer/songwriter's relationship with his father, Richard Berman, who is apparently the food and alcohol industry's weapon of mass destruction, dedicating his entire being to telling the world that obesity and tobacco is not damaging to health. The singer in that song decided to dedicate himself to music and poetry, attempting to fill the world with beauty and art in the wake of destruction left by his father. He has recently retired from music to move to film, with his reasoning being that he would never be able to dent the evil spread by his father; and because of this he feels too ashamed to continue a career in music.

It's an interesting and almost heartbreaking story. He called his father "evil", a "human molestor", an "exploiter", a "scoundrel" and "a world historical motherfucking son of a bitch." He concluded this rant with saying "I am the son of a demon come to make good the damage."

I took a look at David Berman's (the son) poetry. I loved Self-Portrait at 28.

I just love this crazy bastard.

Last night I went through and wrote down all of the upcoming albums that look promising.

June 15

We Are Scientists- Barbara

June 29

STS9- Love King

July 13

Sting- Symphonicity

August 3

Arcade Fire- The Suburbs

August 24

Eels- Tomorrow Morning

TBA

Belle & Sebastian

Fleet Foxes

REM

Rush

The Shins

U2

Neil Young

More than anything, I'm most anxious for the Eels and Arcade Fire albums. I admit it, I'm a sucker for anything Indie. Maybe I'll give them a listen and review them once they come out.

Something that caught my eye in the TBA section was the arrival of the upcoming Rush album. I have been extremely disappointed with their recent releases. For some absurd reason, the trio has decided to move away from their trademark originality of 10-15 minute epics like "Xanadu" and "2112," the Alex Lifeson-style riffs and unorthodox solos, and the instrumental expressions of technical perfection as in "YYZ" for more radio-friendly 5 minute productions of "Working Them Angels" and "Far Cry."

Seriously, this to this? What are you thinking, Geddy?

Roll Bus Roll

Holy shite, this is just mind-blowing. I should start reviewing albums or something.

Yay! All of the electronics (Texas Special pickups and all of the other hardware) have arrive. The next big step is to solder everything together, a step that will probably require the assistance of some more tech-savvy friends of mine. I hope to put all of the images I've taken together in the end in an instructables post or something.

Confessions

That's right, I finally built the courage to put lyrics I wrote on the internet. Keep in mind that simply reading the lyrics without any knowledge as to the tempo or melody tends to give the wrong idea about how the song is supposed to be heard. I'm pretty curious to see how people react to it without having heard the tune. It was one of those songwriting cases in which the words came to me about some obscure situation, one that I have yet to realize what it is about and how it might relate to me. The words are in that odd format 'cause I pressed "enter" according to the chord change.

When you

think about me

do you

Think you want to leave

from Missouri to New York

Where I hope that we'll feel free

Do you

think about me

When you

Want to feel free

I can't blame you if you dont

But if not me then please you'll see, dont forget me

I know

There hasnt been much said

And I worry

about what lies ahead

And I admit it always

looked so right in my head

Sometimes

I feel my head explode

And it falls

And gets left on the road

And I can feel my life erode

To the bone

Dont forget

The good times we never had

The days are longer

And so are the nights but I'm still sad

They say

The end is a beginning

But I think

It's all the same wheel spinning

I guess the song I wrote is similar to this in the fact that it is a simple finger-picking acoustic- guitar-con-harmonica arrangement.

[Yeah, that cat image was supposed to be a hilarious GIF that didn't work out and I can't delete it. Just ignore it :) ]

I finished painting the guitar and applying the varnish, so now it looks all vibrant and sexy. I'm extremely anxious to see it develop further. Tuesdays suck. It is not only the time when you realize that you still have 3 more days of school until the weekend, but it's also the hardest day for me to stay awake through the entire day. I can't say why, but Monday nights are always the hardest nights for me to fall asleep. Tuesdays are almost as bad as Sundays. At least I have my guitar lessons on Tuesdays. I also need to ask someone to prom. Having social anxiety disorder, this won't be easy. We'll see. I'm going to a wedding this weekend. One of my cousins that I absolutely never see, and don't currently know the name of, is apparently getting married. It'll be me, my family, and Memphis for the weekend, with only my ipod for comfort.

Also, I am getting close to having enough courage to get some of my original songs (that require singing) on the internet.

My posts are becoming very disorganized trains of thought. I'm surprised I didn't throw "My mother is a fish" in there somewhere.

Baww

Today was one of those days spent exclusively at my house. Most of the day was used painting the guitar, as of now I just need to sand it down to get that Pollock-esque look (I don't want to explain why sanding is necessary; when I post the pictures it will be obvious).

I don't have much to say, so here are some pictures:

I didn't think these would be so depressing. Sorry! Here's a happy song with an awesome video to make up for the pictures:

Sigur Ros: Hoppipolla

Tonight I worked more on the pick guard. I think it's going to look perfect. This whole guitar project is really making me anxious. I also had band practice with some friends, and after an hour of playing we decided to go hang out at the guitar store, all carpooling in one car while leaving all of our other cars and our instruments/equipment at the house we practiced at. While at said store, a freak hurricane of a storm hit the area, most severely damaging the exact area of the house we practiced at, almost deliberately knocking down trees on the street right before and after the house, forcing the police to completely block out the entire street, leaving not only my car at the house but all of my guitars and my amplifier locked away. The kid who lived at the house can't even go into his house. Midwest weather just sucks.

Also, these lyrics came to me recently. Let's wait and see how the rest of it turns out:

My life is a flowing stream

An incandescent glowing dream

Of innocence and poverty

And everything that's in between

I finished sanding the guitar completely. Now I'm working on painting the pick-guard and body.

I have this floral design I wanna work on for the pick-guard. I scratched it up with sandpaper and drew it on, now the hard part is getting the airbrush frisket to cooperate. I'm also working with some "test" blocks of wood to perfect the painting technique. It seems like it's extremely easy to botch. I'm so anxious to see how the whole thing turns out! I also decided on getting some Texas Special pickups to install. I'm also looking for a nice and cheap laminated maple neck. I'm shooting for the perfect blues guitar.

Also I was the first comment on a Zach Braff photo. I felt badass.

Lookin' for fun and feelin' groovy

I still think that there should be a law requiring everyone to listen to the 59th Street Bridge Song once every day.

This is one of the better songs I've ever heard. I love that specific video because of the energy at 2:45, and the comments people have left on it are great.

I feel like such a hippy when I use words like "energy." But I can't really find any other word to associate to the feel and emotion they put into that performance. Dylan's performance of Like a Rolling Stone after the infamous "Judas" comment has the same ambiance.

"Play it fucking loud!"

Yesterday my sheet music for Yes's album Fragile came in the mail. I ordered it for the song "Mood for a Day" as I hope to perform it (along with "Clap," also by Yes, or "Since I've Been Loving You" by Led Zeppelin) for the Berklee audition. Right now the whole experience terrifies me.

I also completed my writing of two songs, both being folky guitar-and-harmonica arrangements that I might try to record soon or tape for youtube. I really hope to get together 7 songs or so I've written and make an "album" to send to people. I'm trying to collaborate with a keyboardist/bassist friend who I've known since early grade school to put all of my ideas into real recordings. Summer, you cannot come fast enough.

In other news, I was very recently introduced to a musician named Sufjan Stevens. His song "Chicago" is equally as awesome as this.

Sanding, sanding, sanding

I spent a complete three and a half hours today sanding. That's right, I finally convinced myself to start working on my guitar project again. I took the time to become acquainted with my new Jens Lekman CD and worry about how the next few months (and years) will turn out. I hope to work again on sanding (I just need to finish the sides) this Friday and painting on Saturday.

Photos here, here, and here

Yesterday my day was spent at the Loop. It began at my service project which involves assisting a third grade teacher in teaching about 15 kids who are all below the poverty line. It sounds good, except for the fact each child is absolutely demonic. I confiscated three notes with each being a colorful arrangement of words including "fuck," "bitch," and "slut," spent a good half hour chasing three boys around the school because they escaped from class, and broke up a single fight. Afterwards I went to see the movie Greenberg and immediately after to see a free Jailbox concert at Vintage Vinyl (greatest store ever) with some friends. I also saw a five neck guitar. Awesome.

Beautiful.